Why WordPress Needs a “Scratch ‘n Sniff” Widgit


Manure fertilizer
Manure fertilizer (Photo credit: eutrophication&hypoxia)

Ah, yes, Spring…the time of year when a young man’s fancy turns to love and a not-so-young woman’s thoughts turn to the overpowering smell of cow-sh*t, in polite society referred to as ‘manure‘ in the air.

I live in a small town in Atlantic Canada….a town on the border between the two provinces of New Brunswick and Nova Scotia, a town where farmers and farm animals have been around for eons and where farmers figured out years and years ago that manure is a great natural fertilizer that prepares gardens and fields for outstanding crop yields if applied liberally to the soil in the spring.

And as I mentioned before….spring has sprung in Atlantic Canada.

12.75 bags of leaves
12.75 bags of leaves (Photo credit: spablab)

I ought to know–I’ve been outside raking gazillions of leaves from my flower beds and off my sorry-excuse-for-a-lawn, and have coerced my #1 son into sucking the raked leaves up with a leaf vacuum that also mulches them, and then filling a Costco-sized-warehouse-full of leaf bags with the torn up soggy mess. Yes, spring is definitely here.

But late yesterday afternoon I decided to leave my leaf-filled yard and driveway and head to a local grocery store to pick up a few supplies for supper…nothing major or ‘haute cuisine…beans and wieners and brown bread because I am a rather lazy not-so-young woman who actually tired out very quickly from all the leaf raking going on in said-yard and desired a quick and easy supper as a reward for my labors.

All went fine on my way to the store: the hordes of elderly people who normally impede my drive around town by creeping along in front of me at two miles an hour were nowhere to be seen–they were, presumably, at home already chowing down on their suppers…after all it was almost four PM. But alas, I still had promises to keep, and piles of leaves to bag before I sleep, and piles of leaves to bag before I sleep, so I knew that I must forge ahead to the grocery store, and to the liquor store, but that is a whole OTHER post to write another day.

Anyway, I drove into the parking lot conveniently located adjacent to both the grocery store and the liquor store, opened my driver’s door conveniently located beside me, the driver, and exited the vehicle….and that’s when it hit me.

Hold your nose and...
Hold your nose and… (Photo credit: net_efekt)

An overpowering stench of…well, what can I say except to call it as I smelled it…manure…cow-sh*t. Yes, both the grocery store and the liquor store were downwind from several farms skirting my town, and apparently the farm owners had been up early that day, too, taking advantage of the beautiful weather by not raking leaves but by spreading pungent manure over their gardens and fields.

It was at that moment that I wished I was one of the elderly people of Sackville who moseys around town at two miles an hour and who by this time of day was at home with windows shut, enjoying a four PM supper of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich rather than suffering through the sinus-clearing odor of manure greeting them in a parking lot. Almost made me duck back into my car and head home, food-less and alcohol-less.

A postcard (circa 1911) depicting a man and a ...
A postcard (circa 1911) depicting a man and a women dressed in the fashion of the era. Woman wears a hobble skirt, man points to her with his thumb. Caption: The Hobble Skirt “What’s that? It’s the speed-limit skirt!” (Caption makes joke in reference to the fact that such skirts prevented rapid walking.) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

But I persevered…held my breath…and made a run, well, not really a run but more of a hobble hobble hop for the doorway of the nearest building, which, fortunately or unfortunately, depending on whether you most wanted food or alcohol, was the grocery store and almost plowed into the automatic door because it didn’t open as quickly as I needed it to, before I finally exhaled inside the store, all the while hoping that nobody in the vicinity of my cart would think that the odor that drifted into the store with me actually came from me.

I bought my groceries, made another quick hobble hobble hop next door to the liquor store for a wee barrel of wine, and then hightailed it to my car, where I immediately shut the doors, cranked the engine over and turned on the air conditioning.

Big mistake. I didn’t realize, or if I did realize then I forgot, that the air conditioning would not only fill my vehicle with cool air but in this case would fill it with cool cow-sh*t smelling air!

Turn air conditioner off. Leave parking lot as quickly as possible. Head home. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200. Pull into driveway at home and exit vehicle. Enter home, sweet home.

Take a deep, cleansing breath. Realize that the kitchen windows that I had opened earlier in the day before the wind apparently decided to shift were now entry points for the odoriferous assault of spring smells coming from the farms that outskirt my little town.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! There is apparently no escape this time of year. There is nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide.

And so, I figured that if I have to smell this smell I thought it would be nice to share it with you, my dear friends, and that is why I wish that Word Press had a scratch-and-sniff widget that I could install into my blog. Wouldn’t it be great to be thrown right into the smell-of-things?

What do you say, Word Press gurus…is it possible? I’ll keep my fingers crossed that it is.

gas mask
My newest spring fashion statement.

In the meantime, thanks for dropping by to visit. Sorry if I smell.

And don’t be a stranger, okay?

Advertisements

18 thoughts on “Why WordPress Needs a “Scratch ‘n Sniff” Widgit

  1. I don t know in wordpress but google has a beta for smells!!! on the other hand, I´m happy just to read your blog, I prefer to imagine the smell, just that LOL

  2. Not sure ‘d go along with the scratch ,n sniff. lol! I`ve smelled my share of cow manure over the years, being from rural Nova Scotia. A friend of mine lived close to a pig farm for years. Many days she couldn`t hang out clothes or would have to bring them in if the wind changed.. The farm eventuall shut down. I donèt think she grieved too long or hard about that. I guess that is live in the country. :).

    1. Yes, Laura…I’m fortunate to only live near cow and horse farms, I guess. Life in the country is still better for me than life in a big city, so I suppose I shouldn’t complain too much. 😀

  3. Having grown up on a farm, I am very familiar with that smell! I never got used to it. We currently live in the same area ( a corner of the old family farm, actually), but there are hardly any farms left and the few there are don’t seem to spread manure, the result being I can breathe deeply any time. Yay!

    1. Yay that you can breathe, not ‘yay’ that family farms are disappearing…kind of scary, actually that they are getting to be few and far between around our Maritimes. (But happy that you can take a deep breath without passing out.) 🙂

  4. Here in Pennsylvania, we have plenty of that bovine air freshener each spring. I work retail in Amish country, and enough manure comes into the store on those fellows’ boots to make grass grow on our concrete floors! But I don’t mind the smell–like Sharon Hicks said, it reminds me of growing up and open-windowed car rides in the spring.

    1. Hey there, Lisa–Sharon Hicks is my sister, so she is, of course, really smart! LOL And luckily the odor only lasts a week or so every spring…nothing I can’t manage to live with. (Who knew I could hold my breath for seven days? LOL)

  5. Good story, Sylvia!
    We have a couple of feed lots east of our place, so that smell is possible any time of the year if the wind is blowing from that direction. Fortunately the prevailing winds in our part of the world come from the north or the west!

    I don’t rake leaves any more. We have a mulching mower, so leaves and grass get finely chopped and left in place. The leaves on the flower beds get left there too – organic mulch. Of course, most of our property is a forest, so there is no point in raking up anything because the next big wind will just blow in more leaves!

    1. Thanks, Margie. I really can’t leave the leaves in place in my flower beds because there are so many that the poor flowers would be choked out in no time…they would never get to bare their tiny little leaves and blooms to the sun…I do leave some decaying matter there, though, as it does seem to help maintain moisture. My yard is full of trees and moss, so yes, I do wonder why I even bother trying to get rid of the leaves every spring as it is always a losing battle. Makes me think of Einstein’s definition of insanity–“doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Now that I think of it, that describes this activity to a tee! Thanks for popping in.

  6. I remember the floral bouquet of ‘spring’ in the air. I only minded it when the cloud hung over our house after the neighbours–or my father–fed the soil in their backyard.

    You are so funny, Sylvia. Happy spring to you.

    1. Happy spring to you, too, Tess! It’s a good thing that our noses adjust to certain smells after awhile because otherwise rural Canadians would stay inside their homes with their windows closed for the month of May. I’m thinking of making a trip to the local army/navy surplus store and buying a gas mask to wear when I’m outside–wouldn’t that make a fashion statement!

  7. LOL … I actually enjoy that down-home aroma each spring – reminds me of growing up in the middle of it, when I used to shovel it … plus it’s MUCH more pleasant than the political manure stench I endured all those years living in our province’s capital city … 🙂

    1. I agree with you, Sharon, that the political stench we are suffering through right now is MUCH worse than anything farm animals can produce, and unlike the spring smell from nearby farms the political smell is certain to last for a LONG time yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s